So over the last few months, I’ve kind of settled into the motto of ‘Mind/Matter’. I found last year in my final year of high school, that my anxiety really developed (not a good thing…), and I found it difficult to deal with stress. But when scrolling Tumblr, I saw this tattoo on a girl’s wrist it was ‘Mind/Matter’, which really struck me, almost like I was impaled by the forward-slash.
When I was younger, mind over matter was something my dad (and occasionally mum) would tell me. “You’re okay, it doesn’t hurt that bad, it’s just mind over matter.” I think it is for this reason, that my pain thresh-hold is quite high (but that’s another future post). “Don’t worry about it, it’s just mind over matter.” It took that tattoo to show me that, that’s exactly what anxiety is – mind over matter. And whilst, it’s uncontrollable more often than not, it kind-of made it… less intimidating? Almost.
Now, when I feel it’s breath on my neck, and it’s hand on my shoulder, leading me astray, I can take a deep breath, and say “No, it’s just mind over matter. You have no control over me”. And sometimes it works, my breathing will soften, and my heart slow. And other times it doesn’t work, but that’s to be expected really. Anxiety isn’t really something that one can control, but you can repel it, kind of like a pest (which it really is). It’s like mosquitos, you can put on bug spray, but it will only keep them at bay for a few hours. After the repellent wares off, they will swarm you. Bite you until you bleed from scratching the little raised red spots.
In the recent weeks, I’ve even gone so far as to paint the quote on a canvas for my bedroom, and I’m considering getting the tattoo. But, my tattoo plans are for the future, I’m not someone to do something life-changing on a whim. But I’ll talk about that later,